My Life: I am the Driver and Passanger. Never the Passerby.

No matter how hard I run, it's coming!

It's around the corner. It lurks in the shadows like the boogeyman. It's that music you hear when Jaws or Jason Voorhees is about to come out for an attack. What threat to my safety do I fear when I go to sleep at night....the dreaded passage of time. Well more specifically the day that I turn 30 years old, which by my calculation is about four months away.

You never realize how much you lived and how much life you have until you hit 30. In everyone eyes, hitting that magic combination of numbers means a lot of things. You look at the younger generation with hate and pity. I know there has to people who watch reality shows out there and wonder, "Is this the best of society we have?" I mean I consider myself a Jersey kid, but damn if the "Jersey Shore" makes me want to reconsider that at times.

But the main thing about turning 30 that I've noticed, is that I want to experience life to the fullest! Instead of a Bucket List, of things to do before I die. I've created, well...just a "list"...(you thought I was going to have a fancy name for this list didn't you?)...of things to do make me feel even more alive and to appreciate what I have.

I don't see turning 30 as the beginning of the end. I see it as intermission during a really long boring movie. And I'm going to enjoy this bathroom break for as long as I can before I am dragged back to the second half of this movie.

Moment of Random Thought: Darth Vader

"All it takes is one random thought to get the ball rolling."

A two-hour road trip to Gainesville, by myself with nothing but my imagination and my ipod (listening to music from Jay-Z to Incredibad) to keep my mind occupied...well...kind of sucks. But it is during these road trips where I find my imagination running wild and amuck.

I think about things that are rather serious and require deep thought. Other times my thoughts turn out to be comically and complete nonsense.

Case in point, this road trip to Gainsville. Lately I have been on a Star Wars kick, I don't know why but I've been thinking and watching all things Star Wars-related. And I found myself thinking about Darth Vader and started wondering to myself, would he be considered a black guy in today's time. I thought what if Darth Vader became a rapper...then I find a video of Darth Vader basically rapping to Jay-Z and Alicia Keys "Empire State of Mind"

But the similarities do not end there. He works for "The Man", who is always going on about his "plans" being complete. He rolls up to people homes with a posse. Hangs with a guy name "Boba". He's always strapped. His ride is a bit different than everyone else. Cannot deny...he has swagga.


Just a thought! Darth Vader would make one impressive black dude.

Fear is just a barrier, which motivation breaks through.

Hontoon Island State Park

Conquering fear is not an easy thing to do. I always equate feeling "fear" to standing at the edge of cliff looking down at the dark abyss below and it is this "fear" that I have.

I have a huge fear of the water and swimming. Just the thought that I can possible drown and flop in the water terrifies me. Even in about four feet of water you will see a grown man breakdown as if he was being buried in quicksand. Also, you can throw in interacting with nature for good measure. Nature seems, how do I put this...naturey!

I consider myself a city kid, not use to primitive, simple living. I believe the closest I have some to living off the grid would be when my power, phone and cable was shut down for non-pay.

So to battle this fear, to conquer this fear I have decided to go on a kayaking and hiking trip this month. And to prepare myself, I need to dress the part.

So I visit a store in the mall and buy my first pair of swim trunk since I was in middle school. However, I apparently bought some version that comes with a hairnet inside of it, or some type of netting used to catch wandering fish. I don't know why I did not notice it when I purchased the trunks. (Which is my fault for just grabbing and telling the cashier to ring it up).  So now I am stuck with some netting trunks which makes me feel...not so manly. Friends of mine tell me this netting is used to keep my "boys" snugs (aka twigs and berries), but I do not feel manly wearing this. It feels like my mom should be holding my hand as she accompanies me to the public swimming pool. So now I find myself having to return to another store and request "boardshorts". As always another adventure for the man they call Greg.

I have no idea what will happen, during this outdoor escapade. of mine My first thought is that I'm about to get into some Man vs. Wild sh*t and am going to be lost in the woods, crying as I try to figure out how to get out of the woods and make sure my DVR is recording the latest episode of LOST. I'm also  wondering if I get lost in the woods would I be on TV and have search teams looking for me...or would they go, "Ehhhh he'll find his way out!"

My hiking/kayaking partner has made sure to inform me that nowadays the intercoastals are filled with spiders, alligators and man-eating dolphins. 

Damn! Now I have to be afraid of man-eating dolphins.

What are Gregisms

What are Gregisms?
Gregisms are a many of things while at the sametime nothing at all. Like those infomercials for new drugs I could list all the things that Gregism cause and do not cause, but in the end you will skip the warnings and somehow enjoy yourself:

• Not a cool breeze on a summer day.
• Not a religion or your personal savior. However always available for Bar Mitzvah.
• Does not last 4 hours or cause erections, but does last for a few years and causes arousals.
• Does not causes sadness, but does cause eyes to be rolled
• General feel good medicine without having to deal with childproof locks.
• Did I mention arousal and the ability to shred on a guitar (bass of course).
• Will not help you land a plane
• Dancing ability and street cred will increase by 30%

Thought I would start a Gregisms blog as a way to do more than what I have been doing for what seems like months now on facebook. For those who do not know what Gregisms truly are, they amount to ridicoulous sayings. It was my answers to people who post serious philosophical sayings on their facebook status (which I am guilty of as well).

Why be serious, when you can interject a bit of humor into someone's day.

I can honestly say that this will not be a daily blog thing (maybe a few a week or something like that). If I feel something is funny and worth posting, than that is what I will do. The facebook Gregisms will continue, since those are easy to enter by phone when I'm just chilling at a red light or barreling down the road at 80mph (just kidding, I don't need the cops questioning me about texting and driving).

Well here's to the Gregism blog. May it prosper and bring in lots of money, fame and women. If not...I will consider this blog a failure and "Old Yeller" it quickly.