The Story of The Henchman - Author's Note

Picture taken from: Jimmy Wellington

I do not want everyone to think that I have not been working on my supposed short story of "The Henchman" or have given up on this blog. The answer to that is Nope, I am still writing, rough drafting and noting. Just with everything that is going on in my life, needed to focus a bit on those external distractions before moving on to something more personal and rewarding to myself. Now while I am still working on the first chapter, I want to give a bit of a background not about the story but about the titles that I have decided to go with. 

When I started writing the first chapter, I wanted to make sure I gave it a title that quickly described what the chapter and mood of the story would be about. So at first I was going to go with popular English Lit titles that I had read in the past and use that as title chapters, that didn't work out as well as I thought. So as I was scratching my head here at the office the song "Fear the Reaper" came on, and that's when it hit me. Instead of going with popular English Lit titles I would go with classic songs (all genres). Here are all the titles that I have decided to go with:

Chapter 1: Unforgettable
Chapter 2: Echoes
Chapter 3: Darkness on the Edge of Town
Chapter 4: Diary of a Madman
Chapter 5: The Man Who Sold the World
Chapter 6: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
Chapter 7: Fear the Reaper
Chapter 8: You Can't Always Get What you Want
Chapter 9: Hero
Epilogue:   Life Goes On

Again I cannot wait to clean and write the final draft for Chapter 1: Unforgettable, but at least you see where I am going with the story.

Thank you for sticking around and hope to have something up soon.

Prologue: The Henchman

Image taken from the movie The Dark Knight

A story.
A simple idea.
That’s how it all began...

For a long time, the Henchmen have stood by and watched. Always lurking in the shadows, fighting for a scrap of glory and honor. They always remained silent, following their orders, a soldier through and through. They survive in a society where they are nothing more than third class citizens. Their fate chosen by others, forced to stay in the gutters. Their motto, “Make do, or die!”

For years they have served both good and bad. For years their lives had been sacrificed for such unworthy causes. Discarded into the fire, as if they were scraps of paper.

No one dared questioned the Quorum.
To defy them, to defy their laws, meant your death.
You would be erased, swatted away from existence, as if you were a gnat.

And so our story begins.
Not with a hero, not with a villain, but with a Henchman
For his story starts in the most unlikely of ways..

Comment by the me the guy attempting to write an interesting novel:

"For the past few months, I had been kicking around in my head an idea for a story. Which basically revolves around a Henchman who works for a bad guy (I of course would have more depth to the story than that). My thinking about this story is that for a long long time now when stories, movies, and TV shows want to tell a story t's either about the Hero or the Villain. I wanted to tell the story about the person in the behind the Villain and the Hero...the Henchman. With this story I am going to step out of my comfort zone and dabble into writing a dark comedy. Right now I thought I might as well post a Prologue of sorts and give this story (be it short story, or full grown novel) a coming out party. From time to time, I will update the blog with the story of the Henchman. As I have a few stories in my head, but want to work them out on paper before publishing the. Until then...sit back enjoy the on going ramblings that is the Daily Gregisms..."

Moment of Random Thought: Political Ads Suck!

Picture provided from the movie Campaign

I debated with myself for a while.

Debated if I should have made up a story about all the craziness that seems to behind this year's crop of political ads and place it under  “The Underground” tagline, write it as I have plan to do so now, or not even write anything at all. However, for all the times that I’ve kept my thoughts and opinions to myself. I thought I would share my thoughts this one time,and air my frustration and overall sadness with the recent bombardment of political ads on television and radio.

I was once a student of Political Science (Poli Sci is what we kids call it). After bouncing around from major to major, I stumbled by chance into this major. The classes came easy to me. I wasn’t forced to remember a set of equations, break down a sentence, or construct something with my own bare-hands.  To me Political Science was about how people followed rules and order. Basically finding order in a sea chaos, but in learning that you also find how trivial the whole process become and how individuals (in all parties) use it to control a subdued population. And that wherein lies my frustration over political ads. What benefit do these ads truly have?  Other than to rile up a misinformed public, who are apparently too lazy to do any meaningful research on their own, and get them to vote their way. Amazing that in this time of human development people are still so easily fooled and that the notion of self-thought is almost non-existent.

If it was up to me...I would not allow ads that attack. Just stick to what you are about and what you want to do, that’s it...nothing else. I don’t want a scary voice telling me how voting for the other person will start World War 3. I don’t need a woman’s voice telling me that voting for a particular candidate will cause my child to be abducted by aliens and carried off to galaxies unknown. Finally I do not want ads that sound like a pharmaceutical drug company ads that list all the side-effects for voting.

All I want from this political season is for the politicians to have debates, be civil and keep it about the your issues. Is that too much to ask for?

Now I realized I could have gone on with a much longer tirade about the political system. How the crazy amount of money being raised for ads would be better spent elsewhere by these politicians. But I’m tired and I want to get back to writing things that make me laugh.

So on to the next one.

Hiatus Over...Adventure Time Begins

Picture source: www.iswimforoceans.com

When you have things planned out to the tee, life sure likes to come in and shake things up. That has been my story for the past few months. Just when I thought I had things figured out, a monkey wrench is thrown into the cogs and really puts me in a bind.

First I should say, it’s good to be back and writing. I forgot how therapeutic it was to put all that craziness, that is my mind, into simple words. Many times have people told me that I should be posting an entry once week and trust me I would love nothing more than to be posting something hilarious and thought provoking once a week. But sometimes I go through a period of time where there’s nothing that interest me or life has me so busy that I am unable to write or even take a simple nap. I’ve let the cobwebs settle enough in my head and it’s time to clear them out.

If I want to be a writer as much as I say I do. Well then, I need to write more, there’s no way around it.  I need to write about everything and anything. There are times when I write about something and I find myself holding back. I worry that someone’s feeling might be hurt or that I’m opening myself up to something far worse than Pandora’s box. But those are just fears, which are nothing more than barriers in my way to accomplishing my end goals. And if I plan on accomplishing any of my goals, those barriers will have to be removed at all cost.

So I raise my glass to good fortune, and ask that it leads me down a path that is worthwhile and fun.  

The Underground: Politicians launch Occupy Televison

picture taken from Mike Luckovich @ www.gocomics.com

On January 3rd a new movement began to sweep the country. Just as the Occupy Wall Street died down and people returned to monotonous life. A new movement lurked in the shadows to hog the attention, bask in the limelight and change the way Americans behave in the privacy of their own homes. Spearheaded by the likes of Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich and those calling themselves...Suhpah Pack, all have one agenda, to make you hate watching TV in your own home.  These protesters have taken their cause out of the streets and in to your homes. FBI, Homeland security and CDC have commented on the growing numbers of this occupation. First starting in a small time in Iowa, it has gradually spread throughout the continental US.


A Matthew Liechter stated, "The reason for the Occupy Television Movement is that Americans have for far too long watch so much TV. We want them out of their homes and being productive members of society and the only way to accomplish that end goal is to make television so unbearable that the normal viewer has no choice but to turn it off. Where the Occupy Wall Street fought against the 1%. The Occupy Television Movement wages a war against the 99%"


Jake Elwood, a thirty-six year resident of Detroit, Michigan expresses his frustration over the current ads that have flooded their airwaves, "...The ads would just not stop. Day in and day out, having to listen to the same crap over and over again. My wife and I have decided to toss the television out of the window and go back to reading books and newspaper. At least that way I don't have to hear their voices everytime I go to sleep."


As the protest spreads, other states start to ramp up their efforts to prevent the mass hysteria of these Occupy Television Movements. Georgia states that they will run 24/7 marathon of the "Dukes of Hazard" in order to combat the Occupy Television Movement. Researches still do not know of anything currently on television that can stop this movement from ruining so many families across the country. 


If you like this story, please take the time to read more items on my blog: Daily Gregisms Blog

Social Commentary: Humanity

(this idea came to me while taking one of my many interesting "customer" calls at my desk).

For those that know me personally, I think they would say I am a balanced person. The type of guy who is known as a optimist pessimist. The type of person who saw the cup as neither full or half full, but just a cup with some water in it. However, today, I can honestly say that I feel that the scales of my indifference tipping towards one side. 

As I advance in my years on this planet, my hopes for what could be the full potential of humanity and people all together, starts to wane.  Common sense would lead me to believe that this far into our brief existence we would have shed our negative behavior and attitudes that would hinder us to move forward to a better place.

Do I have hope for humanity? The easy answer would be no.  Now, do not get me wrong, there are moments where humanity show flashes of potential. For example, my mother while walking her dog fell down on the street, dislocating her shoulder. Now if it was not for the kindness of her neighbors, my mother could have been seriously hurt. But seriously how long can those flickers of hope last to ward off the impending darkness.

I see the path on which humanity is going down. I see the pain, the hate, the bitterness that is to come. I thought that when the world became more connected and more open, we would see people coming together to advance the common goal of man. But it seems what should bring us together, seems to be what pushes us apart. 


But in the end...I still hold on to hope. 

The Underground [Revisited]

"Sometimes you need to take your cause Underground, in order to make a difference."

For a long time I've been meaning to write about one of my earliest foray into writing, my first attempt at humour[sic] and producing material for public consumption. 

Not so long ago, in a city that's not actually too far away. I created an inter-office newsletter entitled, 'The UnderGround'.  The newsletter consisted of made-up gossipy stories for the workplace. Now since the stories were about people within the office, anonymity was the key. So to make sure I or anyone else in my party were never caught, there were a few simple rules that needed to be followed: no copy was ever allowed to be saved to the computers, hardcopies were only personally handed to a few and like Fight Club no one every talked about 'The UnderGround'. In the literally sense, the newsletter was an underground cause. It never saw the light of day and it gave me an opportunity to cast aside my introvert ways and showcase my humorous style.


So why am I talking about an old newsletter? Beside that one of my good friends [Ali] who I worked with, still remembered the old newsletter. For a long time I forgot about the newsletter and simply moved on. I created newsletters for other properties, which then lead me to create the blog that you see today and the one good thing I like about my blog and how I operate it is that it is always evolving.


When I started writing this blog about a year or two ago, I had the mission to make this blog  about expanding on the little quips or Gregisms that I posted on my facebook page. It also gave me the chance to expand on ones some ideas that I genuinely thought were funny and need more of a through explanation.  Then, I found myself adding Random Thoughts to the blog. Which I equate to taking a side journey off the main trail where I get to talk about things that pop up in my head, situations I find funny or things in the world that just do not make any sense whatsoever.


Now that 2012 is here front and center, I continue to take a look at myself and at the blog and feel the need to evolve and improve ever so slightly. As you saw earlier, I introduced Social Commentary to the blog. With Social Commentary, my goal is to put a flashlight on a subject matter where humanity needs improvement on. Now I am far from perfect, but that doesn't mean I want the world to go to shit. 


And finally, I want to introduce the last new section to the Daily Gregisms blog, The Underground. It will echo the previous version of the past Underground, where the stories are purely made up and are nothing but sarcastic. Will I try to compete against the like of The Onion or Andy Borowitz....umm no! Those guys are nothing short of fantastic, but  I can try to become just as good as they are.


Well I thank you for taking the time to read this blog and hope you are excited as much as I am for the new things, ideas and thoughts I will be writing about this year. 

My Thoughts on Turning 31

“When I turned 30 the first thing I did was watch the sunrise over the water, while in The Keys. Who knew that the sunrise I saw that morning, was the sunrise that showed me a way past the horizon and onto a new adventure in life. Now and forever I will always look to chase that sunrise.” ~ Gregory Modé

When one turns older you start to go through that phase in life when you start putting things in perspective. You look at your own mortality as if it was a fragile egg in your hand, worried that any tremor, ding, bump or accident will cause it harm. You look at past and current accomplishment and compare them to other people. Sometimes you feel proud of yourself, other times you feel like you are limping behind the pack.

You look around at all your material wealth, the people around you, where you are at that moment in time and wonder out loud, “Is this it? How many times can I get by and be lucky, before my luck runs out?”

And there’s that one question everyone seems to ask. “What is my purpose in this world? Do I have a role to play, a part to play on this stage?”

Too much do we look to the future and worry of things that have yet to be and too many times we look at the past and try to grasp at wisps of memories of the way things use to be. Yet we always forget to live in the present. We do not take the time to sit down and enjoy that sunrise every morning. To appreciate the little things that life has to offer.

No matter how you dress it up…

I am 31 years old.

I have been alive for 11,334 days

For 272,016 hours, my eyes have seen many life events, some happy some sad.

And it was not until I hit 30 and I saw that sunrise, that I finally understood what the meaning of life truly was.

Cheesecake and Paradise

Now I don’t normally take on requests when coming up for my next blog topic, but this time I made an exception since it centered around the devious…cheesecake.

First, who could have ever guessed, that going out of your comfort zone would taste so delicious. I may claim to be an adventurous eater, but in reality I stay pretty close to foods that have been proven time and time again to taste good going down. However if I were to compare to that to how one should live their life, I always say to go outside that comfort zone and take a chance. Life is about taking risk and experiencing new things. Not reliving the same old tried and true methods over and over again.

So while out on a date I decided to go out of my comfort zone, both with how I approached the date and with the tasting of my first true cheesecake.  For those that keep up with my blog will know my feelings on the dates, (and don’t worry, what I am currently writing now was already brought up during my date…yes I’m serious!), are basically job interviews.  But I am not here to recount that night’s date. I am here about the cheesecake. There are certain foods I’ve placed on a list that I will not touch (Ranch, Feta Cheese, Deer meat, Cheesecake, and etc.).  And if someone tries to get me to eat it, I politely turn them down and go on my merry way.  But that night I decided to try something new, with of course some prodding by my date to try the cheesecake [side note: tried my first true cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory]. When the cheesecake came out, I have to admit I was nervous. The first thought that popped in to mind was that I really hoped that I don’t throw up cheesecake over my date. But luckily after that first bite, I felt what amounts to an orgasm in my mouth (okay maybe not an orgasm, but it was enjoyable). 

Now as someone who enjoys eating the right things (from time to time, I still do treat myself to a burger every month) and staying in shape. It is a very dangerous thing for me to start loving Cheesecakes. Also I can finally understand why people seem to go ga-ga over this delightful dessert.

In all, the lesson that I left with that night was that…When you start to become comfortable and use to certain things. You close yourself off to some beautiful things around you.

The Tale of Greg ~ Part 1

This is my attempt at writing a alliteration poem. I have to admit that I think I did a good job, but when it came to the end of the poem, there was no clear way to end it. I hope you enjoy the poem as I enjoyed writing it out and coming up with some wonderful rhymes and g-related words.






Greetings, my name is Greg! 

Sit as I tell you a good ol’ great tale.

A story quite minute, yet on a grand scale.

Grievous, grim, gory narrative you will not find.

Only about a gracious, genial giant who fate was intertwined.

A gregarious, gallant, grandiose of a guy.

A gambler, a gangster and a gunslinger, was I.

No gimmicks, no guarantee, please do not worry.

No garrulous narrative, for this here shorten story.

A Gator Graduate, gladly to be.

A guile cunning gambit, majored with the ladies.

Giddy of grin and full of drink

Gaffes abound, while I was made to think.

Grandma once told me long ago

All that glitters is not gold, no?

Glorifying glowing gizmos and gadgets was never the way.

A generally good guy would gain at the end of that day.

I Job, there for I am

I finally have a job!

There is no sweeter sentence that one could write (well actually I’ve been working at this job for the past two weeks, so I’m a little late getting the news out). That sentence sounds so pleasant, so sweet to my ears.  Unlike most people out there in the world today, I was fortunate not to have to spend months or years being unemployed. However, due to a bit of an underhanded circumstance from my previous employers, receiving unemployment checks were always out of the question. Oh well!

The only thing that sucks is that I cannot really write about where I work; don’t worry my place of employment does operate in a legal manner. Disclaimer: To those who are friends of mine on Facebook or Google+ should have an idea of where I work. However, for legal reason and the fact I do not want to lose my job, I will not use the company’s name on this blog. I will simply call it Company V.

My first day on the job, was nothing short of a scene straight out of a sitcom. First Company V had me on standby, since my paperwork had not yet been cleared by the time the Orientation class started. So I did what any able body young thirty-something would do when you have time to kill…I took a nap (well more like I fell asleep on my couch while still in the sitting position). When the phone rang, it was their HR department telling me that I was cleared to start work today and that I should rush to the main building since the Orientation class had just started 30minutes ago. Well I rush down there wearing nothing but a nice pair of khakis, an untucked polo and my running sneakers. My thinking is that training class should be real laid back. That was my first mistake. I run into the class to see everyone dressed up as if they were getting ready to attend Sunday services. Embarrassed? That was an understatement.

Fortunately the rest of the day went smoothly. When asked by my new classmates as to why I was dressed the way I was, I simply informed them that Company V had called me while I was out running errands and had no time to run home and change. (I think they bought that little white lie).  And oddly enough later that week they declared Casual week for the entire site, so I basically saw it that I was ahead of the curve.

So there it is I am working again. (Well more like stuck in Training for a long long long time).  It is nice to have a job and to have some source of income coming in.

There was one thing I learned from my previous, a life lesson if you will. “Once you get too comfortable, you need to do something that puts you out of your comfort zone. That is the only way you will get better personally.”

***Update: As of September 12, I was offered a second job.  A job that I really really wanted.

Moment of Random Thought: Where have all the black TV shows gone?

And I will not count the stuff by Tyler Perry and Ice Cube on TBS and I be damned if I’m going to include anything on BET (sorry guys but come on guys, really!).

One day I came to realization that there are not any shows out there that feature a black person or anyone of color in the lead role. I am not implying shows are devoided of any color amongst their cast. But the days of such great TV shows like “The Cosby Show” are unfortunately history.

I know most of us don’t want to admit it or even acknowledge it, but people of color having their own shows on network TV is something of rarity. If memory serves me right the last show to feature Black lead was JJ Abrams “Undercover” (which didn’t do so well and was later cancelled) and I think before that, there was Chris Rock’s “Everybody Hates Chris” where the entire cast was Black.

And I do apologize if it sounds like I’m getting on a soapbox and preaching (that’s for another time and blog entry). But one of the few memories I have, is of me and my family gathering around the family room TV watching “The Cosby Show”.  “The Cosby Show” was one of those external factors that persuaded me to want to go to college and become a doctor (should have thought that one out since becoming a doctor was harder than I thought). To see those Huxtables kids (Sondra, Theo..I think Vanessa. Denise went but dropped out) go and graduate from college was something inspirational to me. It should people who looked similar to me accomplishing something that I didn’t think was possible at that time. But where are those role models today. Most of the time people of color are being portrayed as rappers/musicians, athletes or gangsters.  Where are the Harvard graduates, military leaders, and other positive role models?

Heavens forbid if someone of color talks intelligently, then all of a sudden he is not “black” enough (which I hear quite a lot). If talking like I have marbles in my mouth and have no sense of the English language means talking “black” then I want no part of it.  When someone talks, skin color should not be attributed to it. It’s either you talk like an educated person or not!

To be continued…

Jobless, Will Work to be able to Watch TV Again

Well it is official. I am still jobless, for now that is! I have those mornings where I look in the mirror, all rough and haggard and mumble to myself “Well don’t you look like a tired bum today.” I should probably rewind this story and give a brief recap as to how I reached this unfortunate predicament.

Previously on, ‘Greg: Mocha Man of War.’  The valiant yet lovable hero Greg, asked his bosses above to have some days to attend his cousin’s wedding (which I was to be a groomsman in don’t forget to add that part when doing the recap). Yes, he was to be a groomsman at this cousin’s wedding in the city of Brooklyn, NY.  However, Greg knew the shit storm that was to be when requesting the days off.  For the day of the wedding was to fall smack dab in the middle of the company’s TURN.  With his work unable to accommodate, Greg was forced…FORCED I say to make a tough decision. Either choose work and the stability of a meager paying job or choose family.  Well it is safe to say our hero chose Family.

All that’s missing from the flashback was Scrooge and some kid named ‘Tiny Tim’ claiming to be my son, who limps to my side either on a crutch or wheelchair.  As I go out on the hunt for a new job, I never ever regret the decision I made. I look at it as a kick in my ass, to move forward with my life. For too long I become complacent, I take things as they are. If I want to make changes in my life and the world around I can’t do that by sitting behind a small dank office looking at screen (even though I am certain the new jobs I’m applying for will have me doing the samething).

As one of my most recent Gregisms, I say, “Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in life in order to find out what you are made of. Some people give up and some people accept the challenge, rise out of the muck and become a better person because of it.” I can say I haven’t given up; in fact going through this low period in my life has made me hungrier for life and reinforced what is really important to me,  my Family and their well being.

I honestly do not know what the future holds. Things can get a lot worse; things can get a lot better. As of right now Fate is holding the coin and has just flipped it. Heads-Things get better. Tails-Things get bad. But you know what; sooner or later it’s going to have to come up Heads.

On another note, now that my funds are cough* limited, I’ve had to make some cutbacks. One being cable TV and internet (well the Bright House made that decision for me). When my cable first went out, I think I threw a hissy fit because I could gain access to what was on my DVR (Thundercats is so out of my reach). As the days went by, I sort of felt like a junkie detoxing off of some substance. Until one day that TV craving wasn’t there. Now of course it would be nice to have a TV to know if a hurricane is approaching my state or if an earthquake just occurred in a metropolitan city in the US.  

And damn if football season is just around the corner. Oh well!

Thirty years of life lessons summed up in a list.

I would like to say that I came up for the idea for this entry all on my own, but I do have to give credit to [Zen Habits]. I took their idea of condensing one's life and the lessons they've learned to bullet points. I want to somehow sum up what each year of my life taught me (if that is at all possible...there were a few years where things are hazy).  Here's my thinking, spend some time and reevaluate your life. Try to sum up each year of your existence in a few sentences. Could you do that? Well I will damn well try.

1. When sperm and egg unite, good things happen. However, when that good things comes out, bad things happen.
2. Small package, big destructive possibilities and a nemesis [little sister] joins the fray.
3. Nightmares are never fun, but Coca-cola is awesome!
4. Who needs reading and writing when I have a tricycle, Hi-C and Legos.
5. One year in Kindergarten and all I took from it, was me staring at a corner all day long.
6. Catholic schools are not just for Catholics
7. The year that Santa Claus died (and Teddy Ruxpin)
8. Cheaters never win, but they can hold out until they get what they want.
9. Sometimes it's hard to say good-bye to your old life and hello to new beginnings. Especially if those new beginnings are in a place that is humid and hot.
10. Greg, the computer and the time wasted playing Number Muncher
11. The Un-wonder years
12. A diamond in the rough. And someone finally believes in me!
13. Position 69 is what? And what are the other 68? (actually question I had asked someone)
14. High School...it's like OZ, but without the prison rape and killings.
15. Videogames, Girls and Playboy magazines
16. Racism...when it hits you, it's hits you deep.
17. Being smart has it's upsides, being a smart-ass well that's just being awesome!
18. Embarking on a new journey and this time I'm going at it alone.
19. It's great to be a Florida Gator!
20. The first loss is the hardest the bear.
21. How tragedy can bring together a nation and teach you that life does continue.
22. Sister's crashes my non-existent Bachelor pad
23. Breaking out of the comfort zone and knowing to finally hold your liquor and learning how to dance.
24. Graduating from college. Nothing beats that feeling.
25. Graduated from college and all I got was this stinking job.
26. Sake, Sushi and Strippers.
27. Relationships are never meant to last forever
28. New city, new place, new life...new money!
29. House of cards come crashing down
30. Adventures are best served with a cold drink and hot women.

Dating is like interviewing for a job with no chance of advancement [Expanded verision]

Side note: From time to time, if one of my Facebook post receives a few "likes" and comments. I will try to take the time to expand on that quote a bit further. Try to give a quick back-story as to what lead me to say the things I say.

Why do we always succumb ourselves to this sort of torture. We meet someone, either in person or through one of the million of online dating websites. We meet up, do the small talk, have a few drinks, quip about how we have something in common (most of the time At this point I am usually faking this. I mean come on, does it look like I watch Grey's Anatomy. Do I care really care that you have magically powers and can somehow communicate with the animals...No!).


As the "guy", we try to assert that we have that "funny personality" you are looking for (because everyone knows women love comedians...*sarcasm*), we can be your protectors, we are financially sound and not some closeted momma's boy. Now as the "woman" you force yourself to laugh through our endless parades of corny jokes, hope he shares your love for everything cats (seriously this kind teeters on borderline creepy crazy), giving off an aura of being a nurturer, and hoping that the man across from you is not some creepy stalker.

Dating can be described as many things: a delicate tango, a difficult game of chess, a roller-coaster, a boxing match or like interviewing for a job with no chance of advancement or promotion. Whichever analogy you decide to choose, it boils down to this. The whole dating process and having a relationship is never an easy ride. We must all go through it, until we end up with that one person who seems not to want to go away or can tolerate us for more than an hour.


It's this long drawn out process that I find frustrating. There are so many things that go on during a date that must be taken into account. Since I cannot speak for what goes on in a woman's mind, I'll give you my perspective of a normal date. I think as most guys will say trying to read a woman's mind is like trying to find the holy grail--many have perished along the way trying to unravel their secrets. Most of these dates are like trying to figure long complex calculus problems. If she touches her hair a certain way does that mean she likes you or has a nervous tick. When she laughs at your mediocre jokes she either likes you or is trying to disguise a fart. She offers to pay half for the meal...well that's just a sign she's not in to you---I would think that is an obvious sign.


And while all of this is happening, I am mostly thinking: Damn! This girl can eat and this is going to be an expensive meal. I wonder if there will be sex tonight? I wonder if there will be sex tomorrow night? I wonder if she's cool with sex? Stop staring at her boobs! Nod and pretend that you are versed in everything Twilight and girly medical dramas.


I do not know if I will ever be an expert in the ways of dating. I will gladly go through many trials and errors to make sure I get it down pact. And I say this because if I do not do it, no one will.

My Life is a Work of Fiction

It seem now a days that most of the "political" books that appear in bookstore, feature people looking to get their memoirs, autobiography, or unauthorized biography out to the world stage.  Normally these books pop up when someone is trying to run for public office, wants to show off how wickedly smart and witty they are, or are trying to change their public image. And for the most part these stories are the same, cookie-cutter story, to the point you could make a drinking game out of it (and trust me I have, I have gone through many bottles of vodka while reading Nelson Mandela's autobiography). Here are a few of the required must-haves that appear in almost every single book:

• Parents are ecstatic and elated the day I was born. (Apparently this story wouldn't sound right if my mother was crying from the pain of having some huge baby rip her bottom half beyond recognition or  my dad cursing the Lord above that his bachelor days are officially over. Ahh the joys of childbirth).
• I grew up in a hard neighborhood or my family was seen as an outcast in the neighborhood (Most of the time, the author will somehow turn the suburb streets of New Haven, CT to the mean streets of Watts, CA. It must have been a bitch when the local water polo club would not let you enter because you bought your clothes from the Sports Authority.)
• Faced adversity (Ahhh tough decisions...should I go for the Bentley or the Jaguar. Life is so unfair. Any episode of MTV's Sweet 16 will give you an idea what type of harsh adversity these young girls must go through everyday in order to survive. Makes the suffering in Dafur look like a carnival ride.)
• Overcame addiction (It seems anyone who has a story to tell  has the same addiction, drugs, or alcohol. Which for some reason is never looked down upon. I mean both of them can wreck the body and potentially lead to death by overdose. However, if someone where to mention they have a sex addiction they are looked upon like they have leperesy. When was the last time you know someone OD'ing on sex? Exactly! )
• Act of heroism (Standing up to a bully, saving a platoon during a war and even standing up to a huge corporation. Those are huge acts of heroisms. Winning a game of Stratego against my sister, playing basketball in a busy street and living on your own for the first time...not so much).
• Found my calling through religion (Just when you need to run for office or clean up your image, you conveniently find God. Picking the most popular religion in your area is liking playing a game of Family Feud. You have three chances to pick the right one or it is game over.)
• Got rich and/or became successful because I never gave up (We rather read a story about someone who is just like us, that somehow rose above the muck and reached the American dream. I mean who wants to read a book by someone who was born into money telling us what we need to do to get rich. Ha, I mean that is just ridiculous!)
• Writing a book (Nothing like reading an entire book from cover to cover. Then when you get to the end, realizing you are no more wiser than when you started).

The one thing I quite dislike about these types of books is that someone is selling their life-story, just to make a quick buck/dollar. Now I am not saying that there are some legitimate books out there, that offer a story that can uplift a person to do great things. I know there are and they are great books. They do offer a story of someone coming from the bottom to rise to the top and be successful in life. But those stories usually get drowned out, by people who have no business writing a book.

I often wonder what if I were to write a book. A book that was basically one part true, one part fabrication. The ultimate story of how a young kid grew up in the mean streets of Newark (well technically Elizabeth) to rise above the muck and become a blogger on his own site, with what appears to be one follower. I can hear the masses chanting my name!

Under Construction

There comes a time in every website short existence where the prospect of change is a good thing. And thus that is where I find myself. Staring at the proverbial 'fork in the road' wondering what the fuck I should do next. Do I keep this blog semi-private and amongst close friends or broadcast it to the world and let them judge on if I am funny or not. 

Well I think it clear that I'm going for the 'let's broadcast this for the world to see'. With plans to see if I can make this thing go international. 

When I began this blog, I wanted to share what were basically silly non-sense sayings that I would find myself saying to close friends and family on facebook and have a place on the web where I can kind of store my favorite sayings for public record. But as with most things in my life, when I got busy the site suffered. So now I'm am putting a focus on this site and making it better than it was before. If that means I set a deadline to publish an entry, than by Krum I will.

However for now...I can honestly say that this site will be Under Construction as pieces to a giant puzzle start coming into place. I have no idea what this site will evolve to, but it will be better than it currently is (that's not to say that this site wasn't kick-ass before). 

So hold on...and prepare yourself for one good ride.

Being Thirty...

Looks like as of tomorrow it will be my birthday and fortunately/unfortunately I will be the ripe old age of thirty.  Ahh the dreaded thirty. Now most people would be off in a corner somewhere, cowering, crying about how the days of old have passed them by and that what lies ahead is nothing but misery, aching bones and eating jell-o in a nursing home. (though the whole jell-o thing does not sound as bad as they make it out to be).

But what I plan to do on my thirty is start re-living life on my terms.  By actually going out and finding and creating adventures. This year I'll be spending my birthday traveling to Key West. I thought to myself, "Hey Greg, you don't know how to swim...so let's place you in a place that is literally surrounded by water."[Side note: I will have a life jacket on, I have been trying to psych myself up that all I will do is just jump in the water and instinctively start swimming. If not, well luckily I will have someone there to grab me if I should fail.]

Even though I might want to groan and gripe about being thirty, I really don't have anything to gripe about. Physically I'm thinner and in better shape than when I was in high school. I'm active and focused. I have a great small circle of friends and feel that things can only get better. And have a list of goals and things I want to accomplish as fast as I can.

Just because a birthday signifies another year passing, doesn't mean we have to sit there and stare at the sand in the hourglass waiting for that last grain to drop. Birthday are like mile makers on a jogging route. They are there to remind us how far we've made it and to know there's more to come.

So I raise a glass to my thirtieth...and hope to experience many more.

Moment of Random Thought: Roadtrips

"Sometimes I wonder what adventures I could be on, what I could be experiencing if I kept driving on the road I'm on."

Some times I find myself wondering (more like daydreaming) scenarios where I am on the road somewhere and I just keep on driving. Never stopping, seeing and experiencing this country through my car's windows.

Going on a roadtrip give oneself the ultimate sense of freedom. Not having to be tied down to one place. Being able to control your destiny by one's own hand.

Those around you might say that you are running away from your problems. That you seek the road as an escape.

But I don't. I don't seek to run away from my problems, I embrace them. I go on the roadtrip to find answers. To understand what IT means. To understand why I see the world the way I do, and perhaps look for that one special thing that could change the way my eyes focuses on the horizons.

Roadtrips...is man's earliest pilgrimage to finding answers to the questions that burns inside me.

I think it's time to take a roadtrip.

A bike ride is a good way to see what life is all about.

It a starts one quiet Sunday morning...

Today I decided to take my new purchased and newly fixed mountain bike for a second test ride.side note: the first attempted test ride ended with my seat falling off as I was stranded about a mile and a half away from my apartment.) And I couldn't have asked for a better day to go out for a ride. Beside noticing that everyone, young and old, was out on the bike trail. I was taken back to how nice people were as I chugged and sweated my way to end of the trail. (

But how does a bike ride, teach one about life?

Well at first when you start your journey, there are going to be difficulties. This occurred when I tried to leave my apartment complex through the front gate as if I was a car. After sitting at the gate for a few seconds and realizing it was not going to open, I went ahead and used the smaller access gate to the side.

You are going to run into some tense situations. No more than a few minutes after exiting through the side gate and getting out on the main street, a coyote comes out of nowhere and runs across the street. Nearly hitting another set of bikers coming in the opposite directions. I thought to myself if I was out of the property a few seconds earlier my bike could have literally smack that coyote in the face.

You will notice wonderful things along the trail. Beside seeing the normal stuff (squirrels and birds), while biking. It was the things that you don't normally run into that made my eyes wide with wonder. It first started with the horses. I don't know why, but every time I see a horse I love to watch them as they run around or even as they stay still. The second awesome thing I saw were two deers running a few yards in front of me and then disappearing into the woods. I wish I could have gotten closer and wish I had my camera with me. 

Sooner or later the trail will end. After biking three miles or so, I came to a point where the bike trail simply ended. And oddly enough I meet an old man in bike shorts waiting for me at the end of this trail. As I took sips of my now warm water, we talked about the trail that I just rode on. He lets me know about the alternate paths I could have taken. Tells me of a path that is longer and more difficult but equally rewarding. As we said our good-byes I jump on my bike and head on home.

And then a few minutes later, out of no where old man bike shorts comes zipping past me and disappears into bike trail like he's Bagger Vance. Other than being schooled on a bike by a older man, in bike shorts. I enjoyed my Sunday bike run and look to have many more of those quiet moment to myself.