Thirty years of life lessons summed up in a list.

I would like to say that I came up for the idea for this entry all on my own, but I do have to give credit to [Zen Habits]. I took their idea of condensing one's life and the lessons they've learned to bullet points. I want to somehow sum up what each year of my life taught me (if that is at all possible...there were a few years where things are hazy).  Here's my thinking, spend some time and reevaluate your life. Try to sum up each year of your existence in a few sentences. Could you do that? Well I will damn well try.

1. When sperm and egg unite, good things happen. However, when that good things comes out, bad things happen.
2. Small package, big destructive possibilities and a nemesis [little sister] joins the fray.
3. Nightmares are never fun, but Coca-cola is awesome!
4. Who needs reading and writing when I have a tricycle, Hi-C and Legos.
5. One year in Kindergarten and all I took from it, was me staring at a corner all day long.
6. Catholic schools are not just for Catholics
7. The year that Santa Claus died (and Teddy Ruxpin)
8. Cheaters never win, but they can hold out until they get what they want.
9. Sometimes it's hard to say good-bye to your old life and hello to new beginnings. Especially if those new beginnings are in a place that is humid and hot.
10. Greg, the computer and the time wasted playing Number Muncher
11. The Un-wonder years
12. A diamond in the rough. And someone finally believes in me!
13. Position 69 is what? And what are the other 68? (actually question I had asked someone)
14. High School...it's like OZ, but without the prison rape and killings.
15. Videogames, Girls and Playboy magazines
16. Racism...when it hits you, it's hits you deep.
17. Being smart has it's upsides, being a smart-ass well that's just being awesome!
18. Embarking on a new journey and this time I'm going at it alone.
19. It's great to be a Florida Gator!
20. The first loss is the hardest the bear.
21. How tragedy can bring together a nation and teach you that life does continue.
22. Sister's crashes my non-existent Bachelor pad
23. Breaking out of the comfort zone and knowing to finally hold your liquor and learning how to dance.
24. Graduating from college. Nothing beats that feeling.
25. Graduated from college and all I got was this stinking job.
26. Sake, Sushi and Strippers.
27. Relationships are never meant to last forever
28. New city, new place, new life...new money!
29. House of cards come crashing down
30. Adventures are best served with a cold drink and hot women.

Dating is like interviewing for a job with no chance of advancement [Expanded verision]

Side note: From time to time, if one of my Facebook post receives a few "likes" and comments. I will try to take the time to expand on that quote a bit further. Try to give a quick back-story as to what lead me to say the things I say.

Why do we always succumb ourselves to this sort of torture. We meet someone, either in person or through one of the million of online dating websites. We meet up, do the small talk, have a few drinks, quip about how we have something in common (most of the time At this point I am usually faking this. I mean come on, does it look like I watch Grey's Anatomy. Do I care really care that you have magically powers and can somehow communicate with the animals...No!).


As the "guy", we try to assert that we have that "funny personality" you are looking for (because everyone knows women love comedians...*sarcasm*), we can be your protectors, we are financially sound and not some closeted momma's boy. Now as the "woman" you force yourself to laugh through our endless parades of corny jokes, hope he shares your love for everything cats (seriously this kind teeters on borderline creepy crazy), giving off an aura of being a nurturer, and hoping that the man across from you is not some creepy stalker.

Dating can be described as many things: a delicate tango, a difficult game of chess, a roller-coaster, a boxing match or like interviewing for a job with no chance of advancement or promotion. Whichever analogy you decide to choose, it boils down to this. The whole dating process and having a relationship is never an easy ride. We must all go through it, until we end up with that one person who seems not to want to go away or can tolerate us for more than an hour.


It's this long drawn out process that I find frustrating. There are so many things that go on during a date that must be taken into account. Since I cannot speak for what goes on in a woman's mind, I'll give you my perspective of a normal date. I think as most guys will say trying to read a woman's mind is like trying to find the holy grail--many have perished along the way trying to unravel their secrets. Most of these dates are like trying to figure long complex calculus problems. If she touches her hair a certain way does that mean she likes you or has a nervous tick. When she laughs at your mediocre jokes she either likes you or is trying to disguise a fart. She offers to pay half for the meal...well that's just a sign she's not in to you---I would think that is an obvious sign.


And while all of this is happening, I am mostly thinking: Damn! This girl can eat and this is going to be an expensive meal. I wonder if there will be sex tonight? I wonder if there will be sex tomorrow night? I wonder if she's cool with sex? Stop staring at her boobs! Nod and pretend that you are versed in everything Twilight and girly medical dramas.


I do not know if I will ever be an expert in the ways of dating. I will gladly go through many trials and errors to make sure I get it down pact. And I say this because if I do not do it, no one will.

My Life is a Work of Fiction

It seem now a days that most of the "political" books that appear in bookstore, feature people looking to get their memoirs, autobiography, or unauthorized biography out to the world stage.  Normally these books pop up when someone is trying to run for public office, wants to show off how wickedly smart and witty they are, or are trying to change their public image. And for the most part these stories are the same, cookie-cutter story, to the point you could make a drinking game out of it (and trust me I have, I have gone through many bottles of vodka while reading Nelson Mandela's autobiography). Here are a few of the required must-haves that appear in almost every single book:

• Parents are ecstatic and elated the day I was born. (Apparently this story wouldn't sound right if my mother was crying from the pain of having some huge baby rip her bottom half beyond recognition or  my dad cursing the Lord above that his bachelor days are officially over. Ahh the joys of childbirth).
• I grew up in a hard neighborhood or my family was seen as an outcast in the neighborhood (Most of the time, the author will somehow turn the suburb streets of New Haven, CT to the mean streets of Watts, CA. It must have been a bitch when the local water polo club would not let you enter because you bought your clothes from the Sports Authority.)
• Faced adversity (Ahhh tough decisions...should I go for the Bentley or the Jaguar. Life is so unfair. Any episode of MTV's Sweet 16 will give you an idea what type of harsh adversity these young girls must go through everyday in order to survive. Makes the suffering in Dafur look like a carnival ride.)
• Overcame addiction (It seems anyone who has a story to tell  has the same addiction, drugs, or alcohol. Which for some reason is never looked down upon. I mean both of them can wreck the body and potentially lead to death by overdose. However, if someone where to mention they have a sex addiction they are looked upon like they have leperesy. When was the last time you know someone OD'ing on sex? Exactly! )
• Act of heroism (Standing up to a bully, saving a platoon during a war and even standing up to a huge corporation. Those are huge acts of heroisms. Winning a game of Stratego against my sister, playing basketball in a busy street and living on your own for the first time...not so much).
• Found my calling through religion (Just when you need to run for office or clean up your image, you conveniently find God. Picking the most popular religion in your area is liking playing a game of Family Feud. You have three chances to pick the right one or it is game over.)
• Got rich and/or became successful because I never gave up (We rather read a story about someone who is just like us, that somehow rose above the muck and reached the American dream. I mean who wants to read a book by someone who was born into money telling us what we need to do to get rich. Ha, I mean that is just ridiculous!)
• Writing a book (Nothing like reading an entire book from cover to cover. Then when you get to the end, realizing you are no more wiser than when you started).

The one thing I quite dislike about these types of books is that someone is selling their life-story, just to make a quick buck/dollar. Now I am not saying that there are some legitimate books out there, that offer a story that can uplift a person to do great things. I know there are and they are great books. They do offer a story of someone coming from the bottom to rise to the top and be successful in life. But those stories usually get drowned out, by people who have no business writing a book.

I often wonder what if I were to write a book. A book that was basically one part true, one part fabrication. The ultimate story of how a young kid grew up in the mean streets of Newark (well technically Elizabeth) to rise above the muck and become a blogger on his own site, with what appears to be one follower. I can hear the masses chanting my name!

Under Construction

There comes a time in every website short existence where the prospect of change is a good thing. And thus that is where I find myself. Staring at the proverbial 'fork in the road' wondering what the fuck I should do next. Do I keep this blog semi-private and amongst close friends or broadcast it to the world and let them judge on if I am funny or not. 

Well I think it clear that I'm going for the 'let's broadcast this for the world to see'. With plans to see if I can make this thing go international. 

When I began this blog, I wanted to share what were basically silly non-sense sayings that I would find myself saying to close friends and family on facebook and have a place on the web where I can kind of store my favorite sayings for public record. But as with most things in my life, when I got busy the site suffered. So now I'm am putting a focus on this site and making it better than it was before. If that means I set a deadline to publish an entry, than by Krum I will.

However for now...I can honestly say that this site will be Under Construction as pieces to a giant puzzle start coming into place. I have no idea what this site will evolve to, but it will be better than it currently is (that's not to say that this site wasn't kick-ass before). 

So hold on...and prepare yourself for one good ride.

Dreams are the beginning of a great tale; the start of a great adventure and should never be restricted

It has been a while, about two months time to be exact, since my last official blog entry. As I had previously stated, there will be times when I will write a lot and there will be other times when a dry spell will sweep over me and I have nothing to offer.


Now...well now, is one of those time when I want to write and try to break-in my pen, so to speak, and work on a few pieces of fiction. Each story, about nine in total, are based on dreams I've had ever since I was two years old. Each story will have sort of introduction as to the dream that spawned the story. Some will be great pieces of art...the others probably not so great, but they will be my stories nonetheless.


My writing style, will be broken up between traditional serialized fiction and prosed literature. Let's not kid around here, I am no William Shakespeare or John Swift.


So with no further introduction needed, let's begin this adventure. Hopefully I can provided you with a experience that's worth the price of admission.

Chasing Waterfalls

"This is the beginning of a story...and what that story is, or how it will end. I and only I alone know that. ~ Gregisms"

Chasing a waterfall.

After my thirtieth birthday, I made a pledge. A pledge to go out and see the world. To see with my own eyes lies beyond "at world's end." And even though I did not make it to some exotic locale like Australia, the Arctic or somewhere in Europe. Puerto Rico served as a great stepping stone if there ever was one. 

I will not bore about the details of my five day vacation in Puerto Rico and Culebra. I'll save that for another day and time. 

What I took away from my trip to Puerto Rico was that I have not lived the life I was suppose to not yet. That there is more to the world than what's at the end of my block. Being immersed into another culture and language is at first a bit of a shock.  For example, take something as simple as going to the grocery store. Now take away the ability to communicate with the cashier in trying to describe a fruit you are looking for. But I could not help having a smile on my face at my frustration.

I see my goal of going around the world and seeing everything that I can possible see as "Chasing a waterfall"

Being Thirty...

Looks like as of tomorrow it will be my birthday and fortunately/unfortunately I will be the ripe old age of thirty.  Ahh the dreaded thirty. Now most people would be off in a corner somewhere, cowering, crying about how the days of old have passed them by and that what lies ahead is nothing but misery, aching bones and eating jell-o in a nursing home. (though the whole jell-o thing does not sound as bad as they make it out to be).

But what I plan to do on my thirty is start re-living life on my terms.  By actually going out and finding and creating adventures. This year I'll be spending my birthday traveling to Key West. I thought to myself, "Hey Greg, you don't know how to swim...so let's place you in a place that is literally surrounded by water."[Side note: I will have a life jacket on, I have been trying to psych myself up that all I will do is just jump in the water and instinctively start swimming. If not, well luckily I will have someone there to grab me if I should fail.]

Even though I might want to groan and gripe about being thirty, I really don't have anything to gripe about. Physically I'm thinner and in better shape than when I was in high school. I'm active and focused. I have a great small circle of friends and feel that things can only get better. And have a list of goals and things I want to accomplish as fast as I can.

Just because a birthday signifies another year passing, doesn't mean we have to sit there and stare at the sand in the hourglass waiting for that last grain to drop. Birthday are like mile makers on a jogging route. They are there to remind us how far we've made it and to know there's more to come.

So I raise a glass to my thirtieth...and hope to experience many more.